


haven't you heard of meditation?

by rosesareredvioletsareblue



Series: and we only have each other [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: AGAIN FOR GOOD MEASURE: NO INCEST, Also can you tell I have a favorite character cause it's pretty freaking obvious, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Injury, EVERYTHING IS PURLY PLATONIC I SWEAR, Family Fluff, Fluff, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, I REPEAT: NO INCEST, I just need more supportive Hargreeves siblings in my life, I love Five and Klaus' relationship and Diego and Klaus' relationship so much they're brother goals, No Apocalypse, No Incest, Platonic Relationships, Post-Season/Series 01, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 14:29:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17920583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesareredvioletsareblue/pseuds/rosesareredvioletsareblue
Summary: "Klaus, you have a piece of glass sticking out of your neck!"Klaus felt for the glass, wincing as he found it."Oh yeah. Fun." It took all of Five's willpower not to throttle him.





	haven't you heard of meditation?

**Author's Note:**

> I will get back to my marvel stories shortly, I just have like three drafts of literally any other fandom cause that's where my muse is. Sigh. Enjoy!!

After they saved Vanya from herself (and the world from her), the team didn’t know what to do. So, they rebuilt the Academy, found Grace alive (Diego cried with her for hours, but he would stab anyone who brought it up), and buried Pogo. Then, they had to decide what to do with their lives.

 

“I’m going to stay here.” Luther said over dinner one day. (Diego didn’t want Grace to do the dirty housework anymore, so they all pitched in with cleaning, and someone different would cook dinner every day. It was Klaus turn to make it. He bought McDonalds. Ben laughed at him the entire time.) Allison rolled her eyes, stabbing at her salad. She could talk a little, but not much.

 

“Of course you are.” Diego said, biting into his cheeseburger. He immediately spit it out. “Klaus, this is disgusting.”  Ben snickered in Klaus’ ear.

 

“You owe me ten bucks.” Ben whispered. 

 

“You’re dead, brother dearest.” Klaus spat back, ignoring the other’s confused looks. “And it is not disgusting. This stuff kept me alive between rehabs.”

 

“I’m pretty sure this chicken is made of rubber.” Five added, flicking his happy meal. “And I don’t want this toy. I’m a grown man.” Klaus glared at him.

 

“In a thirteen year old’s body. Now shut up and eat your apples.”

 

“I don’t think they’re apples.” Vanya said, breaking a apple slice in half, splitting it with Allison. “I’m pretty sure they’re just sugar.”

 

“Look this was the best I could do! I can’t drive, so I had to walk.” Klaus said, taking a fry. The others glared at him.

 

“You couldn’t have at least gotten Chinese?” Five asked, bewildered. “It’s next door.”

 

“Like I said, I’m staying here.” Luther said, effectively changing the subject. “After the moon, I-” The entire table groaned. “What?” he asked, visibly offended. The others all looked at Allison. She sighed, reaching for her notepad.  

 

“ _It’s just that_ -”

 

“No one cares about the stupid moon!” Diego interrupted. His sister glared at him. “Come on, you were going to sugarcoat it.”

 

“He’s got a point, Luther.” Five said. “Worse things happened. I was in the future, Vanya was locked in a box and her powers took over her brain, Allison’s vocal cords were practically severed, Ben fucking died, Diego watched his girlfriend die, and Klaus was kidnapped and tortured.”

“And I died.” Klaus added, taking Five’s chicken nuggets.

 

“Saving your sorry ass.” Ben muttered. Klaus shushed him. Five rolled his eyes.

 

“Fine. And Klaus died. That’s all a lot worse than being on the fucking moon.” Luther looked like a kicked puppy. Allison gave his hand a squeeze.

 

“Fine. I’m staying here.” He said, leaning back in his chair.

 

“I’ll think I’ll stay here too, now that you’ve brought it up.” Klaus said, shrugging. “Sobriety is a lot more fun when you have AC.”

 

“And a house in general.” Ben added.

 

“Excellent point. Thank you, Ben.” The others stared longingly at the empty chair next to Klaus.

 

“I’m technically a minor. Again.” Five spat. “People don’t sell houses to minors.” Klaus smirked,

 

“Okay then, minor. Drink your chocolate milk.” He said. Five threw the bottle of chocolate milk at him, which he caught easily. Allison tapped her pen on the table.

 

_“I don’t have anywhere to go while I heal. Can’t talk to Claire yet._ ” Luther nodded.

 

“So four of us so far. Vanya and Diego?” He turned to them. Vanya gulped.

 

“I can’t go back to my apartment.” She said, looking down. “I don’t know if I can be alone with...this.” she flailed her hands around. The others nodded understandably.

 

“Diego?” Luther asked. “Your turn.” Diego shrugged.

 

“You guys can’t be trusted alone here without some common sense.” He said, earning mutterings of “What the hell?” to “Fuck off.” from his siblings.

 

“So we’re all living here. Again.” Luther looked around at his siblings.

 

“Should turn out better than last time. Dear old dad isn’t here to be the biggest dick on the face of the Earth.” Klaus said, opening up Five’s milk and taking a sip. He grimaced and slammed it on the table. “You guys might have a point about this. It’s really freaking sweet.”

 

“Well, thank god it’s Five’s turn tomorrow.” Diego pushed his burger to the middle of the table.

 

“I’m sorry,” Five looked up at him. “It’s what?”

 

\----------------------------------------------------------

 

And the Hargreeves siblings became a family again. From family dinners to shoulders to cry on, they were healing. When Allison started talking in short sentences, they started a family game night. Luther or Diego always won. The others didn’t really care.

 

“Fuck.” Five muttered under his breath three months after they all moved back in.

 

“What’s wrong?” Klaus asked, pausing from painting his nails.

 

“I’m supposed to cook and we don’t have any food.” He slammed the fridge shut.

 

“I have a far out idea.” Klaus said, waving his nails to dry them. “Why don’t you go to the store and buy some?” His brother glared at him.

 

“I look thirteen and all I have to wear are different versions of this uniform. They’ll think I ditched.” Klaus nodded understandably.

 

“I can come with you, if you want. Pretending to be your dad is really funny.” Five rolled his eyes.

 

“The last time we did that you smashed a snowglobe on your face.”

 

“Well that won’t happen again! Please! I’m so bored!” He slid onto the floor. Five sighed.

 

“Fine. I might regret this.” Klaus smirked.

 

“No way in hell, son.” He dodged whatever Five threw at him this time.

 

\---------------------------------

 

“I take it back. This is the worst.” Klaus said, sitting in the shopping cart.

 

“You’re a grown ass man. Get out of the cart.” Five snarled, tossing a bag of frozen peas at him. Klaus pouted.

 

“Don’t be so violent, son.” Five rolled his eyes.

 

“What should I make?” he asked Klaus, wandering the frozen isle aimlessly.

 

“Ben wants waffles. And so do I, now that he brought it up.” Five smirked.

 

“If you want them, get them yourself. They’re in the opposite end of the store.” Klaus rolled his eyes.

 

“Fine.” He hopped out of the basket. “Come on, Ben. No, of course he’s not getting any.”  Five watched him walk away, laughing. He pulled out an old cookbook of his mother’s from a pocket dimension looking for a relatively easy recipe.

 

“Screw it.” He said, throwing the book in the cart. He just grabbed an entire row of frozen pizzas and went off to find Klaus when he heard glass shattering and men yelling. “Fuck.” He ran off to where the sound came from. “No, I won’t shatter something with my head this time, Five, promise.” he muttered in a crappy imitation of Klaus’ voice. He froze when he got to the scene.

 

“Where’s the money Havgreeves?” A man asked Klaus, who had shattered glass all over him and was bleeding in some places. A head shaped hole was in the freezer door.

 

“I payed you already.” Klaus said, spitting a mouthful of glass at the man. ”And I’m getting clean, so you won’t get any more.”

 

“Bulshit!” The man yelled and threw Klaus into the glass again, shattering it more.

 

“Hey!” Five yelled. “Let go of my brother!” Klaus looked at him, eyes wide. The man smiled.

 

“Oh, this brother?” he said, grabbing a bottle of something and smashing it on Klaus’ head. He collapsed instantly. Five snarled.

 

“Yeah. That brother.” The man smiled and went to grab another bottle, but it wasn’t there. And neither was Five.

 

“What the hell?” He asked, spinning around. He was met with a bottle to the head. Five shrugged.

 

“Told you to let go.” Klaus moaned next to him. “Klaus!” he bent down next to his brother. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He waved Five off. He grabbed a shard of the destroyed glass freezer door to try and pull himself up, and was surprised to see it go through his hand. “Well, that didn’t feel good.” Five cursed, grabbed Klaus, and jumped back to the Academy.

 

\-------------------------------

 

They landed in the living room.

 

“Hey!” Five screamed. No one responded. Klaus giggled.

 

“Look! Five! My hand has a spike in it!” He tried to poke it, but tripped and collapsed on the floor, knocking himself out. Five stared at him, confused.

 

“You idiot! How the hell did you fall?” Five hissed, pulling his brother onto the couch, cursing at the giant shards of glass sticking out of him. He jumped to where he assumed his siblings would be, effectively scaring them shitless. It would be funny if he wasn’t scared of his brother’s idiocy. The only person in the house was Diego.

 

“Hey asshole!” He jumped in front of the screen, making him scream. “If you wouldn’t mind coming to the living room, Klaus has a hole in his hand, glass sticking out of everywhere, and probably a brain bleed.”

 

“How did this happen?” Diego asked, jumping up and running down the stairs

 

“We were in the grocery store and some dickhead attacked Klaus, who is so good at being the dumbest person alive, by the way, and he got pushed through glass and then grabbed said broken glass, cause again, dumbest person alive, then when I brought him here, he tried to poke the huge piece of glass in his hand and fell.” The story took them to Klaus, who was still unconscious and bleeding.

 

“Damn it!” Diego hissed, bending down to put pressure on Klaus’ bleeding hand. “He needs actual help!”

 

“No shit!” Five responded, taking his brother’s hands and jumping them to the infirmary.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

“Mom!” Diego called, sprinting into her area.

 

“Hello, Diego, dear.” She replied, smiling. “What seems to be the problem?”

 

“Klaus has glass everywhere and he’s unconscious and might have a concussion.” He said quickly, hardly even taking a breath. Grace nodded, walking quickly to the infirmary, where Klaus was sitting up, blinking.

 

“Hello, Klaus.” Grace waved. Klaus slowly waved back. Grace scanned him, her eyes glowing blue for a minute.

 

“Well?” Five asked, sitting next to him.

 

“Klaus appears to have light scratches, several glass splinters, the most severe being in his hand and behind his ear, both appear to be infected. He also has a severe concussion.” The siblings nodded.

 

“Is he going to be okay?” Diego asked.

 

“I’m already okay!” Klaus said, his words slurred.

 

“You really think so?” Five deadpanned.

 

“Yeah, I feel great!” He replied, doing a little dance.

 

"Klaus, you have a piece of glass sticking out of your neck!"

 

Klaus felt for the glass, wincing as he found it.

 

"Oh yeah. Fun." It took all of Five's willpower not to throttle him.

 

“Okay boys, that’s enough.” Grace said, sitting in front of Klaus. “Can I ask you some questions?” Klaus nodded. “Okay. Can you tell me your name?” Klaus giggled.

 

“Which one? The name or the number?” He broke down in hysterical laughter.

 

“Oh my god, I’m going to kill him.” Five murmured to Diego. Diego sighed.

 

“I might help you.” Klaus stopped laughing as hard and started panting, trying to catch his breath. He sighed. Two seconds later, he spun on his side and vomited on the floor. Five clapped sarcastically.

 

“Healthiest man alive, everyone!”

 

“Fuck you.” Klaus replied, rolling his eyes, and then closed them immediately. “Holy shit. Everything hurts.”

 

Five smiled sarcastically. “Yeah, that’s called the adrenaline rushing out of your system”

 

“Why don’t you do me a favor, baby brother, and shut the hell up?” Five flipped him off.

 

“Can you tell me your name now?” Grace asked, smiling.

 

“Klaus Hargreeves.” He said quietly. Grace nodded.

 

“That was great Klaus! Do you know where you are?” He rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah. Planet Shithole.” Grace smiled again.

 

“Klaus, can you give me a real answer, please?”

 

“Mom, that was his real answer.” Diego sighed, running his hands through his hair.

 

“Can you tell me the name of the place please, Klaus?” Klaus sighed.

 

“Fine. The Academy. Don’t know how I got here, though.”

 

“Me, you idiot. You got into a huge fight in the store.” Five seethed. Klaus nodded.

 

“Okay, I kind of remember that.”

 

“I have one more question for you, Klaus.” Grace said calmly, starting to work on his injured hand. “How many people are in the room?” Klaus shrugged.

 

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “There’s me and you, and Five and Diego yelled at me so they’re here,” He pointed towards them. ”And Ben is in the corner glaring at me.” Grace nodded.

 

“Shut up, Ben.” He whispered, closing his eyes. “I feel like crap.”

 

“Really? I thought you felt great!” Five laughed sarcastically. Klaus flipped him off.

 

“Okay, Klaus this might hurt, okay?” Grace focused on the giant shard of glass stuck in his hand.

 

“Can’t you give him painkillers or something?” Five asked, before he realized how stupid of an idea that was.

 

“I’d be down for that.” Klaus replied, smirking. He glared over in the corner. “Stop playing the dead card, it’s really annoy-” he screamed suddenly as Grace pulled the shard out of his hand. “You couldn’t give me a warning?”

 

“It hurts less when you’re not paying attention to it.” Diego said, sitting down next to him, while Five jumped onto the table with him. Klaus hissed as Grace poured hydrogen peroxide on his injured hand. Luther came running in suddenly, taking in everything.

 

“What the hell happened?” He asked, staring at the bloody glass on a sterile tray.

 

“We’ll tell you later.” Diego said quickly before Grace ushered him out.

 

“See? That was one out to two bad ones.” Five said, watching Grace sew up and bandage his hand. “And the other one’s smaller, so it’s easier.” Diego grabbed his uninjured hand.

 

“Squeeze my hand if it ever hurts, okay?” Klaus just nodded.

 

“And  was the worst one, silly.” Grace sang, poking his nose. She walked behind him. “Ready?” Klaus nodded. “One, Two, Three-” Klaus hissed in pain, squeezing Diego’s hand. “Good job, Klaus!”

 

“Thanks, mom.” he muttered.

 

“These others shouldn’t hurt as bad, okay?” She said, dropping the glass on the tray.

 

Klaus didn’t respond. He accidentally looked at the glass that was in his hand and blacked out. Diego and Five shared a glance.

 

“Well that makes things easier.” Diego laughed, squeezing his brother’s knee. Grace lightly laughed, removing the glass from Klaus’ neck.

 

“It certainly does.”

 

\--------------------------------

 

After treating Klaus, Grace sent him to his room with the lights off. Diego carried him there, (”Jesus, Klaus, why do you only weigh like sixty pounds?”) while Five called a family meeting. Everyone gathered in the main hall.

 

“Okay. So. Tiny thing. Klaus got attacked at the store by some dick, and then I brought him here, where he fell and gave himself a concussion.” The others nodded.

 

“Who was it?” Vanya asked, squeezing Allison’s hand. Five shrugged.

 

“I think it was a dealer. He asked Klaus for money, and Klaus said that he already paid him and he’s trying to become clean.”

 

“Can we see him?” She whispered. Diego shrugged.

 

“Later.” He said, walking towards the door.

 

“Where the hell are you going?” Luther stormed after him.

 

“Buying groceries.” He slammed the door in Luther’s face.

 

 “Hey, what are you guys all doing down here?” Klaus asked, stumbling down the stairs. Five rolled his eyes.

 

“You idiot.” he sighed, jumping to him and stopping him from falling down. “Do you want another concussion?” Klaus waved him off.

 

“‘M fine.” he says. He made it down another step without practically collapsing in Five’s arms. Five sighed, murmured something about dumbass brothers, and jumps Klaus back to his room.

 

\------------------------------

 

The next couple of weeks were a blur for Klaus, practically trapping him in a zombie trance. The next time he woke up for real, Ben was with him.

 

“Klaus-”

 

“Look, I know what you’re going to say, but I’m not tired. I’ve been sleeping all week.” Klaus said, pushing past him.

 

“That’s actually not what I was going to say.” Klaus quickly looked at him, groaning when the movement sent a wave of nausea through him, and quickly laid back down.

 

“Well, what were you going to say, brother of mine?” Ben smiled.

 

“I actually have a couple of messages for you.” He plopped down on the bed next to Klaus.

 

“From who?” Klaus asked, rolling over to face him. Ben smirked, counting them down on his fingers.

 

“Well, Luther says he hopes you feel better soon, Diego says that you shouldn’t have a problem anymore, which freaked me out a little.” Klaus chuckled. “Allison says she bought new stuff for you to try on-”

 

“Thank god.” Klaus sighed “I was getting so sick of her wardrobe.”

 

“Five hasn’t stopped calling you, and I quote ‘literally the dumbest person alive’,”

 

“Aww, he’s concerned.”

 

“Would you stop interrupting and let me finish?” Klaus nodded. “Thank you. And Vanya wants to know if you’d like to come to her concert if you’re feeling up to it. She read an article about ‘the healing power of music’ or something.” Klaus stood up. “What the hell are you doing?”

 

“Getting dressed.” He replied, stumbling over to a makeshift vanity.

 

“No, you’re not.” Ben grabbed his chair, pulling him backwards. He stared at his hands, then at his brother. Klaus smirked, triumphant.

 

“I guess sobriety’s worth something after all.” Ben rolled his eyes.

 

“Diego and Five will kill you.” He protested, throwing himself in front of Klaus’ closet. “Five was really close the last time you pulled this shit.”

 

“Well than I wish them the best of luck.” He smiled. “I want to see my sister play the violin. And damn it, I’m going to see my sister play the fucking violin. So, Benny dearest, in the nicest way possible, get out of my way.” Ben shook his head, chuckling. He moved aside.

 

“You’re something else, Klaus.” Klaus beamed at him.

 

“Don’t I know it.”

 

\---------------------------------

 

Ten minutes later, Klaus came down the stairs in a black pencil skirt, black ankle boots, a black blouse, all topped with a golden tuxedo jacket. The others stared at him.

 

“You have a concussion.” Diego said, leading him into the family room. “Can’t you wear sweatpants for once in your life?”

 

“Sweatpants,” he turned to Diego, “Have no class.” He beamed at Vanya. “I can’t embarrass my sister and wear god’s worst item of clothing to her concert.” Five buried his face in his hands.

 

“The living room. The concert is in the living room.” He sighed.

 

“How did you even know about it? It was just a last minute thing.” Vanya asked him, carrying her violin.

 

“Ben told me.” He walked over to Allison and grabbed her hand. “I will be raiding your closet for the new stuff you bought me.” Allison laughed.

 

“Ready, guys?” Vanya moved to the center of the room with her violin. Klaus sat down in between Diego and Five, watching both of their shoulders relax as soon as he sat down.

 

The Hargreeves were fucked up. Probably beyond fucked up. But as Klaus watched Vanya play, he though he’d be okay if they could be fucked up together.

 

(Months later, Five told him what happened to his ex dealer. "Long story short," he sighed, "he now has a fear of knives. And freezers. And Diego.")

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumblr! It's awesomelandmermaid 
> 
> I might post chapter updates and stuff on there for all my stories, mostly now its ACoTaR. 
> 
> (Read those damn books they're so good)
> 
> (Also I love sweatpants but I felt like Klaus wouldn't)


End file.
